Funny how I had more posts during sem than now when I'm on break 😅 (lmao actually been on break since like 2/52 ago, needed this long to recuperate LOL), but now I'm in the mood to reflect on the past year and hopefully demonstrate that things are always not as bad as they seem at the time (yes fr, I know I can't convince you b/c past me defs catastrophized even when I knew I didn't need to....😶)
Challenging lessons learned
1. Avoidance is not the solulu - if you're an avoidant type like me, very sad news indeed - in order to move on and progress, you'll eventually have to face whatever it is that you're avoiding 💀 DISCLAIMER - I have another friend that's the opposite extreme and confronts everything head-on w no regards to if they're mentally capable of handling that load and well, catastrophe as well...so the only viable conclusion is to take a GRADED EXPOSURE APPROACH
2. It's okay to ask for help - sounds super sensible and "no duh" right? again, if you're like me and hate "disturbing others", "looking dumb for not knowing", or have the good old "must not show weakness" mentality 💪💀 - this seemingly easy and no-brainer life lesson is hekking difficulty to enact. Heck, it took me 1.5yrs to accept I'm no less than my peers for taking a break for both my mental health and seriously considering if med is worth the pain, and other 1/2 year to fully engage w placement.
3. "It is worth remembering that it is often the small steps, not the giant leaps, that bring about lasting change" - Queen Elizabeth II - I think this quote perfectly sums up the year for me - last minute cramming can only get you so far - it's the daily learning, whether that be 30mins or 3hrs, accumulating overtime that counts the most. Just like how being on stage will expose your preparedness, the end of year exams, esp the LC does exactly that - yes, a lot of it comes to the luck of the draw in terms of pt px and assessors, but still, a well prepared student (ahahahahaha that student be not me 😅😭💀) would be able to overcome the shock of whatever the pt px w and still pass.
Moments when I felt the light peaking through the shadows
1. Literally no one cares that I took 1.5yr and now part of the 2025 cohort instead of the 2023. Only things I've heard are "so happy to see you back!" or "doesn't matter how fast or slow you go, everyone has their own perfect timeline" or "good on you for having the courage to come back"
2. Having such a blast on placement the whole of sem 2 and realizing that I like looking after deteriorating patients, have a degree of continuity of care, but dislike long ass convos about patient mx just to reach the decision of "continue care as is"
3. For some inexplicable reason, I've become so much calmer now - takes a lot more to phase me and things that used to induce high level panic e.g. EOY exams - used to be so stressed that I can't eat, now it's just mod stress (and maybe a bit too much of stresslaxing at times 😅)
So take courage and go forth and conquer!!!!
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