Day 1 of UMMSS Blue Week! AKA Mental Health Awareness Week

  In line with UMMSS' (University of Melbourne Medical Students' Society) Blue Week, I'm going to share parts (b/c let's be real, if I shared the whole story we'd still be here a year later) of my own mental health journey and debunk some myths about mental health through personal experience and current research. 

Myth #1: I will never experience mental health issues / I am immune 

AHAHAHAHAHA famous last words cuz that's what I truly believed before I got hit by the tornado known as the downward mental health spiral 💀 Looking back, my mental health probably started its downward descent insidiously from the beginning of undergrad back in 2017 but reached the critical threshold in MD2 2021 (first attempt) post Easter break and the descent became more like a snowball tumbling down the Alps 😓

Fact #1: According to the 2022 National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing (Australia):

- >2 in 5 Australians between 16-85yo (43.7% or 8.6 million ppl) had experienced a mental disorder at some time in their life

- 1 in 5 (21.4% or 4.2 million people) had a 12-month mental disorder

- Almost 2 in 5 ppl (39.6%) aged 16-24 years had a 12mo mental disorder

Unfortunately, these stats are worse amongst medical students and doctors 😢 → some stats from the National Mental Health Surveyof Doctors and Medical Students conducted by Beyond Blue in 2013 w updates in Feb 2019 include: 

- 43% of all medical students surveyed (778) reported minor psych disorders

- Minor psychiatric disorders F > M students reported (47.2% c.f. 35.9%) (QHS)

- Medical students are much more likely to experience very high levels of psychological distress c.f. the general popln (9.2% c.f. 3.1%) (K10)

- Rates of medical students currently dx w depression & ever having been dx w depression (8.1% & 18.1% respectively) is substantially higher than the general popln (current 6.2% & ever dx 15%)

- Rates of reported anxiety dx, both current and ever, are much higher in medical students than the general population, but similar to those reported by Australian university students overall 

From fact #1, it's evident that mental health disorders, from minor to severe, is very common in our society today, so believing that you are somehow "different" from everyone else and cannot personally experience mental health issues is almost comical, as I was rudely taught, HOWEVER, THAT DOES NOT MEAN MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES CANNOT BE OVERCOME. Tell me from July-Sept 2021 that I will be back in med and ENJOYING placement and I would've started screaming bloody murder at you and how you have no idea how much I'm suffering and how impossible that is. So from personal experience, I can say that YOU CAN RECOVER from mental health issues, NO MATTER HOW HARD THE JOURNERY TO RECOVERY. 

Myth #2: I need to earn my mental/emotional/psychological distress/agony

This is something that I really struggled w, and tbh still struggle to fully believe and accept, but EVERYONE'S SUFFERING IS VALID- in fact, suffering is a uniquely personal experience that cannot, and should not, be compared. As someone who basically won the lottery in "choosing the right family to be born into" → middle-high income family, Australian citizen @ birth, private school from kinder - Yr 12, being blessed with a brain that allowed me to be school dux, get into med as chancellor scholars' (i.e. guaranteed CSP spot in MMS w/o need to do GAMSAT as long as I pass MMI), AND have both my maternal grandparents be doctors, I had so much guilt about feeling as mentally and emotionally distressed as I did. I denied my true feelings for so long and refused to seek help until I literally shut down and could not bring myself to continue med and socially withdrew for 6mo straight → HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED. 

N.B if anyone confides in you that they are suffering from any emotional/psychological distress, PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO COMFORT IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS

- It's not that bad, a lot of others have it worse → not helpful AT ALL, only makes the guilt worse, and less likely to seek help 

- You're over-exaggerating, it's just in your head (psych IS of the mind, but just b/c it's of the mind does NOT make it a less real experience than physical causes of pain/distress, indeed, physical pain IS ALSO a product of the mind)

- Just stop being sad/anxious/depressed → bro, if I could, I wouldn't bloody be here, and don't for a second think that I didn't try to tell myself to snap out of it either- its actually what drives my guilt and denial further. Lemme tell you, I have never ever experienced that overwhelming anxiety, social isolation, lack of self-care, inability/amotivation to leave the bed, or ahedonia in my life EVER. To give some context, I ugly cried during EVERY SWOTVAC in undergrad, and was so nervous before uni exams that I could barely eat, but those anxiety levels and feelings had nothing on what I experienced between Jul-Nov of 2021 (when I was dx w adjustment disorder and commenced on escitalopram 20mg mane), and I can happily report that I haven't experienced that level of distress this year recommencing MD2 either. 

- Just be happy, think happy thoughts (see above rant 😡) 

Myth #3: my peers will tx me differently if I admit I took a gap/LOA because of mental health issues

I can only speak from my own experience, but what I experienced was in fact the complete opposite of this. My original med cohort welcomed me back w open arms, indeed most were super excited to see me back in action and will one day become work colleagues w them and refer pts to each other. My new MD2 cohort has now also accepted me as one of them (I believe and hope so 😆) and I have had peers come up to me privately and say how they think it was super brave and impressive that I still chose to come back, knowing that everyone will know I took a gap. Also, much to my surprise, when I opened up about my mental health struggle to my closest friends from HS, almost all of them said they had experienced and/or are still experiencing mental distress, whether clinical or subacutely. 

Alright, I'm not even 1/4 way through what I wanna share and discuss but this is probs long enough / too long for a single post so imma wrap it up here by providing a few resources in case any of this has been triggering/hitting too close to home for you. Also feel free to reach out to me via my email (address in profile) pm on social media if you know me in person to debrief, rant, chat. I can't promise I'll be much help other than lending 2 ears for you to spill your guts to → sometimes it's much easier to tell a stranger your struggles than people you know/are close to. 

Mental Health Resources 

- In acute distress, at risk of harming self or others call emergency IMMEDIATELY (000 in Aus)

- Lifeline on 13 11 14 (or chat online) 24/7

- Beyond blue on 1300 22 4636 or chat online 24/7

- eheadspace counselling for youth 12-25yo & their fam 9am-1am/daily (ph: 1800 650 890)

- Kids Helpline for children and young adults 5-25 24/7 (ph: 1800 55 1800) (private & confidential)

- SANE Australia for complex mental health issues 10am-10pm (ph: 1800 187 263)

- Blue Knot Foundation for adult survivors of childhood trauma 9am-5pm AEST (ph: 1300 657 380) 

- FriendLine feeling lonely and want someone to chat to anonymously (ph: 1800 424 287)

- Head to Health for advice and connecting you to local mental health services (ph: 1800 595 212)

- Black Dog Institute mental health resources 

- find more mental health helplines at https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-helplines